Posted 1 day ago

bombing:

the reason this generation is failing is because we’re not motivated enough to make money. all the people on the dollar bills are dead. they’re not relevant and teens just can’t connect. we need money with memes and beyonce on it

Posted 1 day ago

joshpeck:

thesylverlining:

what happened in roughly 1870 though

why was there temporary internet

with a few people searching for pokemon?

image

(Source: neilcicierega)

Posted 1 day ago

massiv3:

so when are we gonna stop pretending beer tastes good

Posted 1 day ago

gaydicks420:

shuckl:

shuckl:

shuckl:

untapped aesthetic: surrealist jock

a varsity jacket but it has three arms and it’s melting

your football shoulder pads have grass growing out of them and they constantly hum

you shove nerds not into lockers, but into other planes of existence. your football is always singing, singing, singing. the astroturf changes colors beneath you, and whispers the name of every person you’ve ever loved.

Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 day ago

roachpatrol:

ok so what if Harry and Neville got into like this passive-aggressive lie-off regarding what a truly great man Severus Snape was like they got drunk and Harry was like ‘Snape though’ and Neville was like ‘I know right’ and Harry was like ‘what a… what a fantastic bastard. What a guy.’ and Neville was like ‘we should fuckin’ get him like, like… let’s have a funeral. A huge fucking fuck-off sized funeral with like, lilies, and, a marble coffin, and a big statue, an’ crying women, an’ all that shit’ and Harry got whiskey up his nose laughing so hard and he falls off his stool and just wheezes 'lillies'

and then during the funeral Neville and Harry like spend the whole time trying to give a better eulogy like they keep getting back up after each other are done to try and have another go at it but then they get schooled by Hermione being like ‘for fuck’s sake boys this is how it’s done’ and she goes up to the podium and just bursts into wild banshee hysterics and throws herself across the glistening marble casket, sobbing ‘oh, it should have been me, would to god that it were me, you stallion of a professor’ and all the reporters tear up a little and then go home to pen really fervid biopics on this bleakly noble and tragically overlooked hero of the revolution

anyway like eighteen years later Harry names his kid after Severus and sends an owl off to Neville like ‘your move, mate’ and Nevill pauses in the middle of polishing the giant marble statue of Snape tenderly cuddling an armfull of adoring woodland creatures that dominates like 2/3 of his office to cuss a lot and pour himself another drink

Posted 1 day ago

chiltonomics:

xproblem-childx999:

cutebabe:

fuck regular q-tips i need some masculinity-tips 

whgat… do you build.. with a qtip…

a fucking starship for ants

Posted 1 day ago

m0rphlne:

dang girl, you’ll make the prettiest flowers once your body rots into the earth.

Posted 1 day ago

thirp:

I don’t know why but this looks to me like I’m on an operation table receiving surgery from cats

(Source: catasters)

Posted 1 day ago

ambienne:

conradtao:

this is patrick stump’s transformation music

This is the most important thing I have ever heard in my life.